the fox and the goose (TAG Buddy)

Last night the gnome hadn't come back home. Actually it wasn't surprising, but Leon didn't have the patience to wait any longer, so he left their room  to search for the ginger. It didn't take much time anyways thanks to his power to search him everywhere on the small island. Of course he only found him in the last place he  was looking for him: the beach. Leon stopped his highspeed behind the ginger and just stood behind him, raising his voice low and dangerously: "Here you are... I've been looking for you, Buddy." He folded his arms and looked at the back of  his head, easily seing that the gnome had froze.

After leaving Reno's place the night before, Buddy had spent the night in his division, the only place where Leon wasn't allowed. Pity that he just couldn't hide there forever, as the day had started he had hang around a bit for training and then had left to look for food. He could have gone back but... somehow he had figured that even the division wasn't exactly safe... with leon's power... he could even easily sneak in and bring him out in the blink of an eye! So what was the point to sit there and wait? He had kept changing location during the whole day, feeling like a sword was hanging on his head, ready to fall. In the end he had gone seeking some peace at the beach: trying to calm down. What was he supposed to do? He was quite tempted to leave but... what about Reno? And Nolan's memories? Beside, with his memories back, would Leon really not follow him? Wouldn't that make him only angrier? He was still thinking of all that when suddenly a familiar low and threatening voice reached him from behind, making him freeze while he felt like his heart was stopping. If that was a game, that would be the time where he would read a giant 'game over' hovering in front of him. Slowly he turned toward Leon, a wary look on his face. This time he didn't say anything, no sassy, smart comebacks: there was no Reno to protect him, no Stan either to give his protection. This time, he was completely at Leon's mercy...

For a really long moment, Leon was only staring at Buddy, like he would jumps on him and break his neck any moment. But he didn't. Instead he began to speak: "I will give you one single chance to explain yourself, because we are married. One. Chance.", he said  slowly and stared into Buddy's eyes, all his questions being openly visible in them. Why he had left without saying him, why he ereased his memories, why he even was able to leave him behind, why he didn't have the courage to face him, why he had killed his only fatherfigure, why he the fuck pissed on everything they had have...!

Buddy could only stare back at Leon, barely able to breath, for once not even caring if his fear was showing... or maybe just not realising it was. And then, when he thought Leon would jump forward and snap his neck, instead he spoke up and asked for an explanation. For a moment Buddy just remained how he was, his eyes wide open in surprise, only after a long moment he managed to speak up, still forcing himself to stare into Leon's eyes "He was the one who attacked me. He took the gun, we started fighting... it was either me or him, I got lucky." That was a very brief explanation, but Leon had never been patient. beside, if he wanted more details he could always ask... and Buddy wasn't sure he would have believed his words anyway. The short ginger gulped before lowering his glance and gathering courage. There was one thing... one thing that bugged him and that had bugged him since that day... and it was possibly now or never... "I just... I just need to know... If that day it would have gone differently... would have you gone after him?" Would have he killed Stan or would he have just agreed with Stan that he had asked for it? He just... he had kept wondering...

Leon didn't know if he  believed Buddy or not. Actually he kinda did, because even Buddy wouldn't be so stupid and tell him lies right now. He could see that he was totally scared  and  that was more than justified. It was possible that even Leon would be scared of himself right now. He didn't say anything at the whole explanation. But at Buddys question  his eyes widened for a moment in surprise and confusion. Was he serious? Of course he would have gone after Stan  and get revenge for him, he fucking loved that asshole in front of him. But Leon didn't tell Buddy that, he kept silent for a few more moments. "Why did you erase my memories and just left without any word? Did I mean  so little to you?!", he asked instead of answering Buddy's question.

Leon didn't give him any answer. Well, that wasn't exactly surprising, he was in no position to ask answers right now, he was still quite surprised Leon hadn't finished him yet... or that he hadn't at least made him scream in pain as he had promised. At that question, though, Buddy's eyes widened in disbelief? Little? How dumb could he be? A short, humourless laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it, even if it was far less than wise
"What was I supposed to do?" he asked with a honest in his voice that Leon had heard only a couple of times from him. And it wasn't wise at all, but when Leon continued talking, it came out as a mix of his sarcastic self and this rare disarming honesty "Come and tell you: hey, you know the only kind of family you have? Well, it's not like I really wanted to but I just killed him." he was close to hyperventilate: it wasn't like he didn't get that the situation was risky, it was just stronger than him now... "Beside, just be honest: would have you really let me explain if I had come home with Stan's blood on my hands?" that was metaphorical, of course but the point stood: if the assassination was fresh, so would have been Leon's thirst for revenge... and Buddy was still surprised Leon hadn't killed him yet!

He seriously didn't know how he would have reacted on that, but everything was better than this for sure! Leon needed  all his willpower to not kill Buddy now, when he started to laugh. His eyes were overspraying rage. He took a long time to  answer agan, breathing in and out to calm himself down again. "You only made everything  worse, Buddy.", he eventually said with  a  cold voice. He really felt the desire to hurt  Buddy, but he just couldn't. He was the man he loved after all.

He couldn't bring himself to look up at Leon, but he could still feel his killing glance on him. He kept wondering how exactly he was still alive: that situation was getting more and more unreal in his eyes... and in the same time, it was so incredibly painful... And then, as Leon pointed how he made everything only worse, he spoke up before he could even stop to think, with his usual smug and sassy tone " I survived two years..." only after saying so he held his breath, realising what he had just said and in what circumstances. That just wasn't good... But damn, he had felt attached, he had instinctively answered with the only weapon he had: his tongue... which, of course, was the worst choice he could make...

Buddy didn't have much time to think at what he had just said, because Leon was already a  second after his last word throwing buddy on the ground and sat on him and hit him once, but really hard in his face. Leon then pulled his collar up again, his face just a centimeter  in front of his. "Yeah, but for what, Buddy?", he hissed and fixed his eyes with the ginger's. He was really close to actually kill the gnome right now and he took out his small knife he was always carriying with him and held it against Buddy's throat, lightly cutting into it. "You know I should kill you right now..."

Buddy didn't complain at all as Leon pushed him roughly on the ground, hitting him hard and sitting on him. When he pulled him by his collar, having their faces be just inches away. He didn't reply anything else as Leon hissed toward him that question, Buddy limited himself to bite his own tongue, his breath accellerated, his eyes dilated in fear, fear that only grew as Leon took the small knife and started to lightly cut his throat. So that was it... that was finally it. That was how he was gonna go... a cold chill crossed his back and he felt pure panic wash over him, and just so, more by instinct than by will, he shared one of his own memories with Leon. The last time he had visited him, the night he had killed Stan and then had gone to Leon to erase his memories...

Buddy was standing by the bed's side, staring down at Leon, the chloroform's bottle still in his hands. Leon was sleeping when he had arrived, but he couldn't risk he would wake up while he was there. Since they had fought almost two weeks before Leon had left their place and went back to his own apartment, which now seemed almost a lucky coincidence so Buddy could just leave him there and erase himself from his life. Like they had never happened... Buddy put down the bottle and took a deep breath. God he was gonna feel sick... that felt so wrong... so unreal...
But it was happening... he didn't have a choice! What could he do? If Leon now was awake, he would kill him without a second thought! And even if he would spare him... how could he live with what he had just done to him? That was... He quickly wiped a tear. He had just destroyed the best thing of his life...

Without more hesitation, he started working on Leon's memories, creating a vault in his mind and starting to put the memories of them in there, one by one. And that... that was just torture. Soon enough he couldn't contain the tears anymore: he kept moving the memories while the tears crossed his face freely. It was the second time he cried in front of Leon, just this time Leon couldn't see him and he couldn't comfort him...
But seeing all the times spent together, and having to get rid of them... It took hours to get rid of all the memories, hours to do a proper job, and as he finished he just couldn't help himself, he fell on his knees, resting his head on Leon's chest and crying his heart out, sobbing loudly. Leon couldn't wake up anyway.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Leon..."
he mumbled between tears. Only after quite a long time, the sun was almost rising in fact, he stood up, dryng his tears. He bent down on Leon's face and kissed his lips with tenderness.
"You were my everything..." he whispered in a broken voice "and I had to mess it up..."
In that moment Leon's eyebrows moved lightly. Buddy bit his lips: he didn't have any more time. He had to go... Quickly and silently, he left.

Breathing heavily Buddy stared at Leaon: he hadn't meant to show him this... He had just panicked! And now... now he had no idea how Leon would react... but maybe... maybe it was better to just consider himself as a goner...

Leon could tell by a look into his eyes that Buddy was thinking he would die now. Jerk. Of course he wouldn't kill him and he was already about to pull the knife away again, when a memorie overfloated him. It was Buddy's memorie, his memorie of the evening he had left him. Leon searched for a sign that the memorie was fake, but there wasn't any, he was  completely honest. Could that be the last memory of him? Nah, it couldn't be...it was too sad  to be the last memorie of any  person.... Leon just stared at Buddy. It was heartbreaking to follow this memories, all the emotions going together  with them were overwhelming. Of course Buddy didn't force those feelings on him and that wasn't necessary  either. Even when the memory already passed minutes ago, he was still staring down at  his gnome. Eventually he slowly removed the knife from his throat  and put it away  again. Again after some minutes he finally talked. "You are the dummest person  I have ever met..... did you really think I would just do nothing to take revenge for you if it would have been the other way round?", he asked and slowly shook his head about his husband. After all these years, he  still had such high doubts in him and his feelings?

Buddy didn't dare to do or say anything for quite a long while, he didn't even dare to look away from Leon: he knife at his throat hurt at every breath he took and he tried to breath as little as he could anyway. There was a little line of blood running down from the small wound, that just added another chilling sensation to the whole complex. As Leon finally removed the knife, Buddy was finally able to take deeper breaths and avert his eyes, looking down: he was even more confused now, not to mention quite ashamed... well, he had kinda just saved his life so, it was worth it... but he hadn't exactly planned to share such a memory with Leon... Then, as the blonde spoke up, Buddy waited a long moment before he carefully replied, this time being careful not to overstep "You agreed with him, you thought I was wrong asking to quit... and it was my fault... If I hadn't tried to quit, just... nothing would have happened..." he said in a low voice filled with guiltiness. He just had to live a life done by self loathing and nausea... but hey, that was just making compromises...

"Yeah, because I thought we had a good life there. Why did you gave up everything? Or: why did you gave up everything including me? I don't care how hard itt might have been for you, you should have told me what happened! You should have trusted me more! It's not really nice to know that you don't trust me far enough to tell me everything. Yeah, sure, it was a really heavy thing, but everything would have been better than running  away. Obviously it didn't get you anywhere anyways.", he meant and smirked homourless down at him. He wished he could tell him that he didn't blame him for Stan's death, but he did. Yes, it had been the gnome's fault, but he didn't want it to happen. And after so many years, Leon had gotten over the death of hisalmost-father. He took again a long look at Buddy, before he stood up, turning away from him. "Just forget it.", he said more to the ocean than to his love.

Why did he gave up on everything? It wasn't like he wanted to... he only wanted to quit being something that made him feel less than a person, he wanted to be able to look at himself in the mirror and consider himself a human being, was that too much to ask? Apparently yes, cause even try to make such a wish had only cause the destruction of everything good in his life. But staying... if he stayed, Leon would have just killed him back then, even worse, he could have killed Molly first just to get back at him. In the end he just looked down: there was nothing he could say to make things better, he had no magic word. Beside, things got broken between them a long time before... no matter what he could still feel now, there was just no hope left. As Buddy stood up and said to 'just forget it' for a moment Buddy just thought he had imagined it. What... what was that even supposed to mean? He knew Leon, he wasn't the forgiving type, he wasn't gonna forget what he did, how he had killed Stan, how he had even taken his name and money... a cold chill crossed his back. Right. Leon didn't even know the last part... Buddy gulped, a chilld of fear crossing his back. He didn't even bothered to get up "Just get it over with, Leon." he said tiredly. "I give up. Just do it." Suddenly he felt tired. Yeah, Reno had asked him to try to stay alive but... what was the point now? He just couldn't live like that anymore... Running away, after having turned the only friends he had into enemies... that was just too much, even for him.

Leon looked back at him over his shoulder. "Get over with it? What, you wanna die?", he asked and frowened. He had never seen Buddy in any similar situation, just with no more energy, totally tired of himself and of everything. Pfft. He wouldn't do him that favour. Deep in his heart, he wanted his gnome to be happy of course, but right now Leon was only thinking that Buddy should have to live with what he had done and get fucking used to his past. He knew that killing him would be much to easy for both  of them. Well... probably not for him. He had always longed to find the murderer of Stan to kill him, but now that he knew it had been his gnome... and not even on prupose... his anger just crepitaded, leaving not a hint to the wish for revenge. He siged,  being tired of everything himself. He turned and looked down at Buddy, who had his eyes closed now. Obviously he really was waiting for him to end his life. What a jerk. He came  close to him again without saying anything and when he was right besides him, he just kicked very lightly his waist. "Stand up, gnome. I'm not gonna kill you toady.", he just said and put his hands into his pockets.

As Leon asked if he wanted to die, he didn't even bother to reply: of course he didn't, but that didn't matter. He was tired to run away from something he considered inevitable anyway. Beside, he was alone now: he had only Molly left, Molly and the problems she had always represented... death could even not be so bad after all... He closed his eyes and waited: whatever happened now, he just didn't want to see. Instead, surprisingly enough, Leon only kicked him lightly, without even hurting him, saying how he wouldn't do it, not today. Numb, he slowly obeyed to him and stood up: was that real? Was he for real? Although... would that change if he knew the rest of the story? ...of course it would. And it was only a matter of time before he would find out. Looking down, Buddy swallowed, his eyes filling with panic as he spoke up "I took his money, Leon." cause he couldn't live with those secrets anymore. It was better to finish it up now than continue pretending everything was fine... "I took his house, I even took his name..." and that meant as well, he had given up Leon's name...

Leon didn't look at him, but at his words, especaially the last sentence, he raised  his head in disbelieve  and soon after burning  rage. He took Stan's name?! Not enough  that  he had left him and everything else, he also left back his name!! The name he had gotten through their marriage, the name he had gotten because Leon claimed him as a member of his family. In less than an  eyeblink, Buddy was on the ground again, his face in the sand and his arms an his back. "You fucking bastard"  was everything he  said, being completely lost in  his rage. He twisted Buddy's arm so much to hurt him until it broke. MNot even the crashing noise got to Leon's mind  now, he just wanted to make Buddy regret. Regret that he had killed Stan, regret thet he left everything behind, that he just cowardly had changed his memory  when he had  been sleeping aqnd that he had took off his name. Why the hell did he even give  it to him if he  didn't want  it in  the end and just threw it away like some fucking piece of trash?!! He pulled Buddy up with his broken arme and  threw him away a few meters, just to put a  feet on his chest when Buddy stoppen on his back. He couldn't remember how long it had been when  he was so  angry  the last time. His victim was probably dead  from back then. His eyes were just slots and he put more force on his foot to  hurt the  betrayer even more.

There. This time it was it. He could see it in Leon's expression when he dared look up: he wasn't just angry, he was furious. Panic filled Buddy's mind, but it was too late to do anything: in an eyeblink Leon was on him, pushing him in the sand once again and twisting his arm until he managed to break between Buddy's screams. Buddy didn't cry, he never cried when it was about pain, but he still didn't manage to hold back screams of pain, even though he tried. As always, he had just told him only part of the story, but why tell him the rest? In Buddy's eyes, reasons where only excuses and he didn't want to beg for forgiveness anyway. He didn't deserve it... When Leon pulled him by his arms, he could only moan in pain before the blonde threw him on the sand once again. He was awfully in pain when he landed on his back, and Leon didn't seem intentioned to stop so soon: in fact, he quickly reached him and stepped on his chest with force: was he intentioned to break his ribs too? Leon didn't say anything, he didn't even try to wriggle. Not that he stood a chance, but any normal person would have had at least tried! But he stood there, a pain in his eyes that wasn't just physical... but after all... he had said that once to Leon, maybe all of that felt right... maybe, after all, he deserved that...

The only thing Leon was hearing through the dust of  his wrath were Buddy's shouts of pain, which were making him smile diabolic and giving him a sick satisfaction. It was almost like he had missed hearing those screams, caused by his actions. Though the smile fainted when he looked into Buddys face, completely accepting his fate. Fuck that  gnome!! He didn't even try to make him stop...! That made Leon angry again and he sat down on Buddy's chest to punsh him hardly in his face, again and again, with his left and with his right fist. Leon didn't know when Buddy fainted, but after some moments he didn't move anymore, not even his eyes. Leon stopped. He hadn't just killed him, had he?! He  bent forward to check on him and his heart was still beating as well as he was breathing. Good....he didn't want him to die, he  had just  wanted to  hurt him really badly... Leon stood up, taking a last look down at the gnome and just walked away, letting him lie in the sand, his face covered with blood. He was already a few minutes in his room, when Leon felt guilty about what he had done. He had just been so terribly angry....but after all, he still cared for the ginger, so he ran back to the beach, just to find Buddy right there where he had left him and still in the same position. "....." He lifted him up in his arms and quickly brought him to the infirmary, leaving him there in one of the beds next to an EVE that  would help him and  went back into his room, using his power.