Confession time? {TAG Reno}

Tadashi was sitting under a tree in the garden, skyping with his mom: every time he had to videochat with his parents he preferred to find some place where he could be alone, especially away from his roommates... even if he liked them and he was starting to bond more and more with them, he didn't want to be teased by them for the close relationship he shared with his mom. Now they had been talking for more than an hour, and only now his mom was starting to calm down about the bruises he had around his neck: he told her the truth about them, but he did all he could to make her understand that it hadn't been Reno's fault. And after all, after she had dealt herself with his nightmares for so long, she could understand, even if it didn't mean that that made her feel safer...
"...don't worry mom, it's ok, I'm fine, Reno didn't really want to hurt me, I told you..." his mom sighed, shaking her head "And you are sure you don't want t-" he didn't let her finish to talk "I don't wanna change roommates mom, I told you!" "ok, ok, fine, Dashi... if that's what you want... but be careful with them ok? And if they hurt you again..." "I'll be careful mom, don't worry" he smiled softly to her, knowing it was hard for her to deal with the fact she couldn't help him now. "Dashi are you sure me and dad can't stop by your college? We wouldn't disturb you, we would just drop by quickly..." It wasn't the first time she suggested such a thing, and as always he lowered his glance looking uncomfortable: Dashi was never good at lying, he actually never lied, lying was something he despised... and still, he managed to lie so well to his mom and dad about his powers... and now this: they had no idea where he really was... "Mom, I told you... this place... is far away..." he tried to explain once again "That's not a problem, we..." "Mom, no... it's... they wouldn't..." he was obviously more and more concerned for his mom's offer, and as she noticed that she was the one who retreated "Nevermind, Dashi: it's fine. Maybe when you settle in better, ok?" she smiled to him, trying to calm him down: it worked, cause he smiled to her to, letting go of the tension that was building up. He was so taken by the call, he didn't even notice Reno standing not even that far from him, and he didn't even have any idea of how long he could have been standing there...

Reno honestly had no idea that his puppy for a roommate would be out here, probably looking for some privacy and to avoid him and Flynn teasing him again. So, as he stumbled across him now, Reno had slowed down in his steps and just been about to turn and walk back the other direction. Only to stop once he heard the uteer mention his name. Glancing over his shoulder, he took notice of Tadashi being to caught up with the conversation to notice his surroundings, and so against his better judgement, he stayed.
Just as he expected, he felt guilt welling up within him as he litsend to the other, now for mostly two different reasons. He still couldn't accept how easy it was for the other male to forgive him, and still having no problem hanging around him. And now, stading there in background but close enough to hear his conversation with his mother, almost made the lump of regret withim unbearable.
"Yo, what up rommie?" He sang out cheerfully, suddenly by Tadashi's side with one arm slung around his shoulder. "No matter where I go, you're always there waiting for me. Are you psychic or something?" he snorted, settling down by the other's side.

He didn't even have the time to reply to his mom when he heard Reno's voice, followed by his roommate's arms passing around his shoulder: Tadashi couldn't help but tense up, he wasn't really eager for such a meeting to happen, between his mom and Reno... and he couldn't just end like that the call with his mom either! "He-hey Reno..." he greeted the guy shyly "uhm... m-mom... this is Reno..." he peeped, his voice showing all his insecurity: how much did Reno hear? And how much would he talk now? There were things he had kept from his parents, and as ashamed as he was of the fact... he just couldn't share them. And his mom... well, after what happened, she wasn't exactly thrilled to see the guy who had almost killed her child. From her blue eyes, so different from Tadashi's eyes, for a moment lighting went toward Reno: if glances could kill... but it lasted only a moment, after that she smiled sweetly to the guy "Well, nice to finally see at least one of my son's roommates. How are you, Reno?"

Oh thank god, at least she has a normal reaction, Reno thought to himself as he smiled back at the woman, obviously haven caught the look of death there. But of course, this woman was still polite enough to hide her dislike of him and speak as if nothing was wrong. Not surprsing, considering she's the one whose raised the puppy here.
"I'm good, thank you. Your son here is taking good care of me," he smiled back in the most polite manner he could, giving his roommate a frinedly on the back as he spoke. "How are you and your husband then holding up? Must feel like something's missing without this guy around."

It was almost visible that Tadashi was holding his breath, seeing them chatting: the situation was beyond uncomfortable for him. Still, he didn't say or do anything to stop them, so they were free to keep talking. At Reno's comment, was obvious that Tadashi's mom hoped that Reno would reciprocate her child's gentleness... but she didn't say that out loud, instead she just replied to his question "We miss him terribly, of course." thing that made Tadashi blush a bit and look down, but again, he didn't stop her "Me and my husband wanted to drop by, even just briefly, but Dashi here refuses to tell us where this college is, apparently he doesn't miss us that much" she ended up teasing him, but Tadashi was more worried about what Reno could say now that about the teasing... Reno knew perfectly well this wasn't a college and that there was no way they could come, he hadn't shown himself as a liar in front of Reno, but that was a pure and simple lie he had said to his parents... he could only hope Reno wouldn't spill anything now... but he didn't want to risk... "uhm... m-mom... I... is it ok if we chat later?" his mother was obviously confused by that, and her first thought was that Reno had something to do with that, her glance toward the redhead showed clearly her suspect...

Reno has been executing for her to say something about taking good care of Tadashi to, but kept quiet about when she instead just answered his question. But that wish was easy to see in the woman's gaze, and seeing as she already know what had happened between the redhead and her son... Well, she had all the reasons to doubt and be concerned.
He could sense that Tadashi was uncomfortable by the whole conversation in general, his suspicion on only proved right when his mother mention something about a college. There was no hint of surprise or confusion on Reno's face however, as he just smiled back at the woman and chuckled good heartily. Before he could reply however, Tadashi cut in. Reno glanced back at her when her eyes fell upon on, and only shrugged as if saying 'Can't be helped', before movng out of view, allowing Tadashi to end the conversation.

Tadashi smiled to her nervously, but his mom was quite used to her child being generally pretty nervous when things were even just slightly different from what he expected or wished so she didn't bother too much with that. In the end she just nodded "Fine... we'll chat later, then your dad will be home too so you can say hi to him too. See you later Dashi, I love you" "Love you too mom..." he peeped blushing before he ended the conversation, closing the computer and only then using his technokinesis to make it fly by his side. He didn't look up at Reno, but he was expecting him to say something, to ask something... it would have been normal, after all...

Reno didn't at first say anything after the conversation ended, and appeared to be focused on something else for the moment. "She seems like a good mother," he then nonchalantly commented, looking back at the younger male with that lazy, typical smile of his, but his words were genuine. "Nothing to be embarrassed about ya know? Flynn and I wouldn't tease about something like that," he pointed out with a chuckle, giving the other a playful yet gentle shove. Of course the unspoken question were hanging in the air now, like why Tadashi had lied about his whereabouts. But then again, Reno had come to both like and respect the puppy, and saw it as none of his business to snoop around. It was up to Tadashi if he felt the need to share his reasons or not. "Don't make them worry to much," he said still, feeling a small sting jealousy, but which was quickly pushed aside.

Tadashi could only nod at Reno's affirmation, still without looking at him, looking down instead, waiting both for the teasing and the questions that he was sure were going to come. When Reno said how he wasn't going to tease him about that he dared to lift a bit his glance and look at the other male with an uncertain look, biting his lower lip with such a puppy-like expression. He waited another bit, waiting for the answer he was sure would come but after a minute or some Reno's only comment was about not making them worried "Aren't you going to ask?" he asked instead "Why I lied?" he looked up at him again, with the same expression a guilty puppy would have. He didn't like sharing informations if others didn't ask, but it was weird to find himself in such a situation... and not having to share! And if Reno would have asked, he would have told him...

Reno snorted at the question. "Do you want me to ask?" he chuckled, quirked an eyebrow at the other. The redhead had been certain Tadashi's would've prefer not to share, but looking at him now, it almost seems the younger male wanted to tell him. That, or he was just torn himself wether to tell him or not. That guilty expression on his face served yet again to remind Reno of a puppy, who seeked approvement from its master or something. Would he ever get used that?
Sighing, he settled down again and offered Tadashi's a small smile. "Ok, so what's the story then?" he asked, resting his chin in his hand. "Why lie when it's obviously making you feel bad?"

Did he wanted him to ask? No, of course not! Or maybe... maybe yes? He didn't know... he only knew that if Reno knew only half of the story he could only feel even more guilty about that, so he could at least tell him the rest. As Reno settle down again next to him, Tadashi brought his knees to his chest and rested his crossed arms on them, and then his chin on his arms, listening as he finally asked the question "They don't know I've got powers" he replied, still that guilty-puppy expression on his face "When I found out... I... I just never told them... and now I couldn't tell them where I was going so they think I'm in college!" This was obviously heavy for him. He didn't explain why he didn't tell them but he continued his explanation "I... I am studying for my degree too... I'm just doing in online..." he said, almost as a justification, almost as saying 'it's not all a lie!' but still, he knew himself that this was far from solving the problem. He sighed heavily "I don't like lying to them, I never lie, but... I... don't know what else I can do... I can't tell them where I am cause I can't tell them about my powers..."

Reno's expression softend in understadning as he litsend to Tadashi, paitnetly waiting for him to finish explaining himself, even fi there really was no need for the male to do so. He sighed again and scractehd the back of his neck, looking a bit thoughtful while glancing over the gardens around them. "I understand the fear of telling them about your powers. But to be frank here, this is only going to come back and bite ya in the ass, eventually," he flatly stated. He didn't say it in a mean or rude way, seeing as he sounded more supportive than anything at that moment. "The more you let this lie go on and grow, the more complicated and harder it'll end up for you... and your parents," he added softly. "I'm in no position to tell you what to do, it's your decision alone and no one elses," he went on, having to turn away for a moment when he felt himself frown, unwillingly recalling the face of his own parents whne his little secret had finally been revelad to them. "They won't stop loving you beacuse of this, if that's what scares ya..."

It was so different talking to Reno about those kind of problems than to any of his female friends: they were always supportive and kind, especially Remi, but... in such a different way... talking to Reno was refreshing... He listened to his suggestion, and it wasn't like he couldn't see his point, but...
"I know they won't stop loving me" he replied in a flat tone, staring the void in front of him "it's just..." he started before he stopped againg, frowning and sighing, resting his forehead on his knees before he continued "powers are written on our DNA. This is just another reminder I'm not really theirs..." he continued, again in a flat, emotionless tone. That was always the tone he used were he couldn't bear to put any sort of emotion in what he was saying, cause it was simply too much. Another reminder... like they needed one: like it wasn't evident that from such blonde, typically american parents couldn't come a guy with such typical Japanese traits... like the scars left from his first 4 years weren't enough...

Hearing that flat and so unfamiliar tone from the shy male, was a bit of surprise to redhead, who didn't expect Tadashi to even be able to sound like that. And no, Reno couldn't say he understood the other's feelings or fears, never having been through the same and all. SO, coming up with the right thing to say wasn't exactly easy. He frowned softly as he took in the smaller males form, and let out another sigh. "Blood means shit, when it comes to real families," he said then, averting his blue eyes elsewhere. "They see you as their kid, and you see them as your parents, that's all that counts in the end, simple as that. No blood is stronger than the bond you already have with them, so whether some DNA or blood test or whatever says or keep reminding you off, you're still their kid."
A hand softly carresed the top of Tadashi's head. "So don't beat yourself up over something like that, puppy."

Tadashi sighed softly: the situation... it was so much more complex than this, at least to him. It wasn't like he didn't see them as his real family, nor like they didn't see him as their child... but it was still heavy to cope with the fact that in his first four years they had been apart... Four years that left scars that his parents had to try to heal for so many years, and still nowadays they weren't completely gone... It had been hard especially in the first period, when his word and theirs had met for the first time, when they had to deal with all those little things that triggered panic attacks in the little Tadashi. He didn't want to explain all that to Reno now though... it was too much and he just wanted to take the thought off his mind. So when Reno started caressing his head, he got closer to him and curled up next to him with a simple "Mhm..."

Unsurprisingly, his words and sad excuse of a comfort didn't do much. But at least he seemed to do the right thing when patting the guy on the head (surely he was part pup, how else to explain the similarities?) and smiled fondly at the male when curled up to him. "Geez, aren't you an adorable cuddler," he chuckled pulled Tadashi inot a hug, nudging the top of his head gently, but harsh enough to mess up his hair. "Now drop that frown of yours already, it's contagious."

He chuckled a bit as Reno teased him, pulling him into a hug and messing with his hair, finally smiling again and looking amused by Reno's manners. He hugged him back, enjoying as always the physical contact. He hid his face on Reno's chest, still chuckling a bit "ok, ok..." he agreed in a more cheerful tone. Only after a long moment he looked up at the red-head and, with a hint of uncertainty, he asked with his big puppy eyes "Reno, why do you have nightmares?" He knew he had said already Reno didn't have to tell if he didn't want to, and he still didn't have to, he wasn't going to force him... and usually, he wouldn't even ask... but... Reno knew so much of his past, and he knew nothing of him, nothing at all! Not even what power he had, or how old he was, or why he had decided to come in this center...

I always wanted a pet as a kid, Reno thought to himself when Tadashi returned the embrace, absnetly wondering if it was wrong comparing the guy to a dog. If it was, it wasn't the redhead's fault. But of course, that small moment of content had to be cut short, and by the puppy nonetheless. Reno didn't tense up or anything at the question, but his smile was gone and hug didn't feel as warm or welcoming anymore. Sighing, Reno pulled back from the hug and looked away, avoding eye contact. Sure, Tadashi had shared a lot from his own past, but it's not like Reno had ever asked the male to share it with him.
"Because of stupid shit I've done in my life," he mutterd without looking at the smaller male.

Tadashi felt a sting of guilt as the redhead pulled away from the hug, his smile gone and he even avoided to look at him. He knew he had no right to ask, but still he kept staring at Reno as if expecting more. Only after a moment of silence he peeped "I'm not going to judge you, if you tell me..." because if that was what blocked Reno, well, that didn't have to be a problem: friends didn't judge other friends... he knew he wasn't supposed to insist so much, but still, here he was, wanting to know more, for the simple reason that, well, he wanted Reno to trust him too...

Reno snorted, strating to grow a bit annoyed at this point. Why did people suddenly want to know about his life before? And honestly thinking to themselves, 'Oh I won't judge, it wouldn't possibly that bad,' only to end up frightend half to death by what he told them. Like Remi for example.
It's not that he didn't trust the guy, of couse not... But the last thing he wanted to do was give him more reasons to be afraid of him.
Again, he didn't come all the way out here to reminisce about his past life and fucked up mistakes.
"I have nightmares for alot of reasons," he found himself repeating again. "The reason behind that other night, was about my last fight I had with my old man." His blue eyes locked with Tadashi's dark ones. "Ya sure you want to hear the rest?"

Tadashi should have said something like 'only if you feel like it' or 'just if you wanna share' but instead he found himself nodding to Reno: yes, he wanted to know. Reno was his first male friend, he was the first guy beside his dad he felt like he had a connection with and... he wanted this bond to be on both sides, not only on his side. But for that to happen, Reno had to trust him too...

At first, Reno looked like he was about to get up and leave, without as much as uttering another word to the other, until his expression turned unreadable, completely void of emotions. But for once, he didn't know what sort of reaction to expect anymore from the other at this point.
"I killed my mother that night." He couldn't have said it one more blunt or nonchalant way, not even blinking as the words left his mouth. He closed his eyes for a second, still recalling that day all to clearly, even after his attempts at trying to erase those memories, by literally shooting himself in the head. No such luck. Some parts where blurred out, but not the things he most desperately had tried to erase from his mind.
"I had... been out doing some crazy shit I always do, trying to earn myself some money through illegal activites. When I get home, my old man's there for once, shitfaced out of his mind. The first thing he does is start asking me where I've been, why I've left mom on her own to worry her ass off over me and what not. And then suddenly he starts yelling at me, demanding to know from where I've been earing money, saying he's found the drugs i've been hiding in my room. I don't remember what I said back to him, but before I know it I'm down on the floor and trying not to get the shit beaten out of me."
He stopped for a moment. He looked calm and unbothered on the outside, but inside his mind was in turmoil, bottled up emotions on the brink of breaking. He would've been put into a coma or something if it weren't for his healing factor. "And then I'm on him, fighting back until I could only see red, my main goal being of breaking his skull open. And the mom-" he trailed off, pain for the first time reflecting in his eyes. "Mom tried to break us up.. Tried to stop me I mean. While I had managed to knock out my old man, i had kept on hitting him, blinded by pure rage and the urge to kill something. And mom, who was unable to walk, had pushed herself off her weelchair and lacthed on to me, pulling and tearing at my arms and back and-!" He had to stop again, and this time he had to lean forward, hiding his face in his hands. He knows she hadn't meant what she'd screamed at him back then. She had been scared, desperate, in hysterics.
'You shouldn't have survied! You never should've been born!'
She hadn't meant any of that.
"I didn't realise until everything had turned quiet, that I had choked her to death."
His voice was steady, cold, as was his expression when he looked up again, staring Tadashi straight in the eye. "And this, is one of the reasons to why i have nightmares puppy."

Tadashi was sure that Reno was ready to leave, it really looked like he would have got up and left him there and he didn't feel like saying anything on the matter, he didn't have any right to push him in that way... but then, out of nowhere, the redhead started talking. Tadashi stayed quiet, staring at him with his big puppy eyes, hugging his legs, his knees to his chest: he didn't say a word through the whole story. It surely was a heavy story... a chilling story, he could easily see why Reno had nightmares, but... that was also only part of the story: he would never, ever try to kill his parents... he would have probably tried to do so if he would have grown up with his biological parents... he couldn't really blame Reno for defending himself, for being the fruit of what his parents made him... Maybe he should have been scared now... well, he was a bit, but not of Reno, his past was scary but... not Reno, Reno was the guy that comforted him while he had a nightmare, Reno hugged him just a few minutes before... Reno wasn't scary, he was just wounded, probably deeper than Tadashi himself...
"I'm sorry" he whispered in the end: he knew that those words didn't meant much, they couldn't solve anything, they couldn't change the past, they couldn't do anything, but he really was, he felt for Reno... and he didn't know if Reno wanted him to say more... He wanted to hug him again but, again, he wasn't sure Reno wanted him too... he looked so cold and distant in that moment...

And then, that cold expression of his seemed to brake. No, those two words don't really mean or do anything for him. They're just words, holding no ture meaning behind them. But somehow, hearing Tadashi say it to him in that genuine voice of his, just got to him. But what surprised him the most, is that he saw no fear in the males eyes. No fear of him. He never would've thought he'd feel so much relief over it.
The redhead chuckle, the thin line on his face breaking into a small, sad smile. "You sure are something else puppy," he snickered, running a hand down his face. It hurt to smile, and yet he found himself doing it anyway.

Reno's reaction was... well, peculiar... Tadashi wasn't really sure what he was supposed to say or do but he knew what he wanted to do... and seeing how Reno'e expression wasn't as cold and distant anymore, he saw no reason to keep himself from doing it anymore: he released his own legs from that hug and crawled next to Reno, to hug him instead: he didn't have any magic word to say to make things suddenly better, no special phrase that would help Reno stop hurting, that would make the past stop hunting him and the nightmares disappear, but he could at least hug him, let him know he was there, share his warmth...