Room C-018: the breakup (Tag: Cloud)

Remi was pacing in the hallway of the third floor. She'd just left her...encounter with Reno and she was now worrying about all kinds of thoughts that ran through her mind. Did she really want to break up with Cloud? Of course she did! Or of course she didn't. She didn't have the slightest clue anymore! She was starting to wonder about this entire situation and weigh the pros and cons of each guy. Cloud had less cons, but she had an emotional attachment to him while Reno would probably be more to handle, but she was worrying about being hurt again. Even if it were just out of jealousy, but who's to say that Cloud won't do it either? Remi groaned before marching to Cloud's room. Of course she felt like she'd killed someone after cheating on him, but she wanted to get this over with and see what happened from there. She knocked on the door and waited for him to open it.

When Cloud heard someone knock on his door, he sighed slightly and got up to open the person, whoever it was. He opened the door and smiled when he saw who it was. "Oh, it's sweet Remi. Come in", he said with the typical charm of his and stepped aside. But one look into her face was enough to tell him that something had happened. "Is something wrong?", he asked and closed the door behind her. Did she look..guilty?

Remi could feel the color drained from her face as she looked at Cloud. The warmth in his smile and how he welcomed her in so freely...she felt like she was going to be sick. She didn't say anything at first, she just walked in and took a deep breath. Somewhere deep within her she wished she didn't have to break up with him, that they could sort of just stop dating somehow....or that he was breaking up with her. "I, well..." She turned around to face him. She didn't know how to do this. "I...I think that it's best if...we stop...dating..."

His smile fell and he raised his eyebrows. "Stop dating?", he echoed. What, did she finally admit her feelings for Reno? Or was she just tired of him? He took a closer look at her. No, it was more.... "Why?", he asked and watched every movement of her. Anything that would reveal what she did.

Remi pressed her lip together but nodded when he repeated what she said. The look on his face made her feel even worse. When he asked why she hastily walked up to him. "It's not you, it's not anything you did, you're really a great guy, Cloud and I just..." She couldn't lie even if she wanted to. And she suspected that he would know why... "It's Reno..." She admitted in a quiet voice.

He snorted. Was she really saying it's not your fault, it's mine? "And now you'll ask me if we can still be friends, huh?", he asked rhetorical, not expecting an answer nor wanting one. He smiled cold and closed his eyes. Well, he had known this day would have come sooner or later. Maybe not this soon though. He suddenly felt so stupid that he had really agreed to be her boyfriend. Especially when he knew she had feelings for another guy. "What did you do?", he heard himself asking. He wanted to know how far she went with the redhaired. He needed to know. He opened his eyes again and directly looked into hers, serious, not a scrap of love or even sympathy in them. They were just like the cold and dark sea now and he looked daggers at her.

Remi resisted the urge to say yes to his question. It was true...if that meant anything.. It was an accident... Remi felt her stomach flip as he asked her what she did. She didn't want to tell him because he was looking at her like...he'd never looked at her like that before. She'd never even seen him make a look close to it either. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. She shouldn't...it would only make things worse.

So it was that worse that she didn't even dare to tell him? He tried to soften his gaze, but it was still cold. He didn't say anything, he just waited for her to tell him the truth. Actually he could already figure out easily what they did. Her lips were still a little swollen from their kisses and judging from her now obvious guilty face he'd say she fucked him. His face didn't show any reaction, he was just waiting patiently for her to confirm his thoughts.

Remi could see that Cloud wasn't going to let up even though she was really hoping that he would. Well he had a right to know but she... "I..." She trailed off but she kept her eyes on his. "...We...had sex..." She wasn't going to mention where they'd done it, the fact that they'd done it was enough right? Remi immediately looked away from Cloud as she said it. "I didn't...mean to...it just..." It just happened? She could've always stopped. She'd even tried but she...had a moment of weakness..

He smiled almost satisfied when she finally admitted it, but also glad that she looked away so she couldn't see the flashing of hurt popping up in his eyes for the split of a second. He had never been broke up with and he said himself he didn't care about it  anyways. He had known it all the time and he just had his fun with her as long as it lasted, and now it was over, the heck with it. He was tempted to ask her if she had fun fucking Reno and if he fucked her just well and made her moan much and loudly and all that stuff, be he changed his mind. WHen he saw a lonely tear  running over her cheek, he  put  a  hand on  hre cheek and washed it away  with his thumb. He just couldn't see it if women were  crying. Even now.

Remi didn't mean to, she really didn't. She dragged Cloud into her messy love life but at the time she didn't think that it was a love life so that made it the slightest bit okay, right? But still...she cheated on him. "I never meant to drag you into this, honestly. And I was just..." Remi didn't know if she had to be honest. She didn't know what to say. "I'm really sorry." She murmured.

He put his arm back down to his side. "I knew what I was agreeing to.", he simply said. Somehow he wanted to take her pain away, but somehow he wanted her to suffer from it aswell. he felt betrayed and also could understand her somehow. He told himself that it had to end up like this, he just shouldn't have said yes to her. He had never felt so torn between wanting to shout at her and wanting to comfort her and take her pain away. It was confusing. "I know.....", he said with a softer voice. He could easily tell she was sorry, it was obvious. But it wasn't enough. He raised his arms slightly to hug her, but stopped and put them down again.

Remi shook her head and raised a hand to her forehead. "Even if you did I still shouldn't have, I should have been adult about it and just stopped it before it started. It's not your fault, you don't need to comfort me Cloud, it should be the other way around!" Not that she wanted him to yell at her, but it just didn't feel...right. Was this how people felt when she was nice to them all the time? She can easily understand how that can be...guilt tripping or uncomfortable. She took a deep breath. She wanted to ask him if they could still be friends but...that didn't seem like a fair thing to do.

Why didn't she do it then? "It's easy to be wise after the event...", he mumbled. He lifted up one of his heavy hands and put them lightly on her head, before he let it run down between her shoulder blades and pulled her gently closer, going for a hug, but if she didn't want to, she could easily get away from him.

Remi couldn't hold it in now, and she started to cry as he pulled her into a hug. "You've just been so nice to me and I just..." She sniffled. "You didn't deserve this, I'm really sorry." She sobbed, returning his hug. Cloud had stepped out of his comfort zone to be her boyfriend just because she'd asked him, and she repays him by cheating on him? Oh she was a terrible person, she was. How could she live with this? What if she becomes the reason he doesn't trust women?

He hugged her tightly, one hand around her waist, the other one on the back of her head. He didn't say something for a long time, he just held her and let her cry. "Don't hate yourself...", he whispered and put a small kiss on her tuft. He didn't know why he couldn't be angry at her, at least not like he wanted to be. He had known about her feelings after all, it would have been the best if he had just comforted her for a while and then leave... But well, he kind of did, didn't he? Until he became the reason why she was crying now.

Remi wanted to keep saying sorry over and over again but she really didn't want him to grow annoyed with her or something like that. She pulled back from him, wiping the remainder of her tears. "Thank you," She said quietly. "I should go." If she stayed any longer she'd feel like she were intruding, and the worst part was over...hopefully. Remi took a deep breath. "I'll see you around, okay?" It wasn't as if she were going to ignore him or avoid him or anything along those lines.

He let go of her and just looked at her. He just humming something, not really answering her question. He didn't want to see her again. He knew he would have to some day, but until then he would try to avoid her as good as possible. He walked over to the door and opened it for her, watching her slowly going outside. "Goodbye, Remi.", he said numb and it sounded really final. He looked into her eyes and then closed the door in front of her.